10/22/03
D-SQUAD INVITES YOU TO BEAT YOUR HEAT
Two Monster Shows!
DESPERATION SQUAD (W/ THIRD GRADE TEACHER) AT OLDE TOWN PUB - THURSDAY, OCT. 23
DESPERATION SQUAD (W/ THE TEAMSTERS & THE SESS) AT 51 BUCKINGHAM - SATURDAY, OCT. 25
Two Monster Finds!
NIXONS REVENGE AT MT. SAC TRACK CLUB DANCE - MAY 1980 - ORIGINAL POLAROID PHOTOS
NIXONS REVENGE - SAN DIMAS BACKYARD PARTY - REHEARSAL TAPE RECORDED AT "G5" POMONA - JUNE 1980
Ah, what great news! New shows! Old documents! What a wonderful world we live in!
The shows everyone knows about of course, because they've already checked out the web site, http://www.desperationsquad.com (except perhaps for many of you AOL users, whose Squad emails were all returned undeliverable), and have already marked these dates down on your calendar!
And I would like to dutifully inform everyone that the D-Squad will continue to play with their seldom-used power trio (+ singer) lineup, as they did last Saturday at the Garage, at least until the package arrives!
Does that sound really interesting?
But really, it's the Nixons Revenge stuff, that's what I'm talking about! The first gig ever folks, the first gig ever! We're not Billy Jacking you here, it's the real stuff, and sure the picture quality sucks, but who gives a crap! That's punk rock - spring 1980! The first lyric was "Sgt. Carter is dead!" from the song "Rerun Heaven" and then we did "Illegal Alien" and "The Club" and "We Don't Need Watkins" - that was the song the track club coach attacked the sound person and tried to shut Nixons Revenge down - but it didn't work and for his effort he got a finale of "Pam Slam", the only song we'd ever played before, and Darlene and Donna, who joined the band moments before the show, pulled out these pillow cases and started hitting themselves with them and then all these tiny marshmallows spilled out of the pillowcases and they started throwing them at the audience and that evolved into a wrestling match and that even freaked me out, I didn't ! know what the hell to think. (Does any of that sound familiar?)
And then there's the San Dimas backyard party. All you need to know about this party is this is where Nixons Revenge had the chance to be the most notorious hardcore band on the newly-emerging scene and we traded it all in for what we thought was appropriate which the crowd, well, the crowd had problems with the show, you couldn't blame them, much like the track club they had an expectation and not only did we not live up to the expectation, we kind of spit in the eye of it, especially at this gig. At least that's the impression you get by listening to the live tape, when you can hear people noticably wincing at various stages of the performance. The newly restored rehearsal tape, however, which has not been heard for over 20 years, tells a different story. It's the day before and we're going over the songs once and there doesn't seem to be any palpable sense of "We want to piss everyone off!" The band is just rehearsing the songs.&nbs! p; And what songs they were: the first ever performances of "Homo" "No Pussy "Tonight" "Humphrey's Triple" and "Hispanics On TV". Is this significant? Well I can tell you that as recently as last Saturday at the Garage, we were getting impatient requests for "Homo" - 23 years later. And, same gig, "No Pussy Tonight" got the best response of the night - 23 years later. Yeah, that's something, I don't know if there's a name for it, but it's something! Plus, for the true NR afficianando there's "Good Mood" "James Garner's A Puss!" "Primitive Man" and the rehearsed but never played "Cheerleaders and Beer"!
So yeah, there's excitement about that, and keep watching the web site, because we will be dutifully updating archival material and rare photographs and such on a semi-regular basis. The photos are already up and I haven't figured out what to do with the tape - really it should just go straight to CD, just send it on to KSPC, especially since towards the end of the tape the batteries started to run down so everything gets speeded up and the recording goes into and beyond what could nominally later be called Sonic Youth territory, and we weren't even trying! It brings a tear to my eye, it does.
CHOW
DESPERATION SQUAD (W/ THIRD GRADE TEACHER) AT OLDE TOWN PUB - THURSDAY, OCT. 23
DESPERATION SQUAD (W/ THE TEAMSTERS & THE SESS) AT 51 BUCKINGHAM - SATURDAY, OCT. 25
Two Monster Finds!
NIXONS REVENGE AT MT. SAC TRACK CLUB DANCE - MAY 1980 - ORIGINAL POLAROID PHOTOS
NIXONS REVENGE - SAN DIMAS BACKYARD PARTY - REHEARSAL TAPE RECORDED AT "G5" POMONA - JUNE 1980
Ah, what great news! New shows! Old documents! What a wonderful world we live in!
The shows everyone knows about of course, because they've already checked out the web site, http://www.desperationsquad.com (except perhaps for many of you AOL users, whose Squad emails were all returned undeliverable), and have already marked these dates down on your calendar!
And I would like to dutifully inform everyone that the D-Squad will continue to play with their seldom-used power trio (+ singer) lineup, as they did last Saturday at the Garage, at least until the package arrives!
Does that sound really interesting?
But really, it's the Nixons Revenge stuff, that's what I'm talking about! The first gig ever folks, the first gig ever! We're not Billy Jacking you here, it's the real stuff, and sure the picture quality sucks, but who gives a crap! That's punk rock - spring 1980! The first lyric was "Sgt. Carter is dead!" from the song "Rerun Heaven" and then we did "Illegal Alien" and "The Club" and "We Don't Need Watkins" - that was the song the track club coach attacked the sound person and tried to shut Nixons Revenge down - but it didn't work and for his effort he got a finale of "Pam Slam", the only song we'd ever played before, and Darlene and Donna, who joined the band moments before the show, pulled out these pillow cases and started hitting themselves with them and then all these tiny marshmallows spilled out of the pillowcases and they started throwing them at the audience and that evolved into a wrestling match and that even freaked me out, I didn't ! know what the hell to think. (Does any of that sound familiar?)
And then there's the San Dimas backyard party. All you need to know about this party is this is where Nixons Revenge had the chance to be the most notorious hardcore band on the newly-emerging scene and we traded it all in for what we thought was appropriate which the crowd, well, the crowd had problems with the show, you couldn't blame them, much like the track club they had an expectation and not only did we not live up to the expectation, we kind of spit in the eye of it, especially at this gig. At least that's the impression you get by listening to the live tape, when you can hear people noticably wincing at various stages of the performance. The newly restored rehearsal tape, however, which has not been heard for over 20 years, tells a different story. It's the day before and we're going over the songs once and there doesn't seem to be any palpable sense of "We want to piss everyone off!" The band is just rehearsing the songs.&nbs! p; And what songs they were: the first ever performances of "Homo" "No Pussy "Tonight" "Humphrey's Triple" and "Hispanics On TV". Is this significant? Well I can tell you that as recently as last Saturday at the Garage, we were getting impatient requests for "Homo" - 23 years later. And, same gig, "No Pussy Tonight" got the best response of the night - 23 years later. Yeah, that's something, I don't know if there's a name for it, but it's something! Plus, for the true NR afficianando there's "Good Mood" "James Garner's A Puss!" "Primitive Man" and the rehearsed but never played "Cheerleaders and Beer"!
So yeah, there's excitement about that, and keep watching the web site, because we will be dutifully updating archival material and rare photographs and such on a semi-regular basis. The photos are already up and I haven't figured out what to do with the tape - really it should just go straight to CD, just send it on to KSPC, especially since towards the end of the tape the batteries started to run down so everything gets speeded up and the recording goes into and beyond what could nominally later be called Sonic Youth territory, and we weren't even trying! It brings a tear to my eye, it does.
CHOW
10/16/03
D-SQUAD SWAN SONG AT THE GARAGE + BIG BIG NEWS
DESPERATION SQUAD AT THE GARAGE W/THE DEMOLITION DOLL RODS, THE HUSBANDS & THE CHECKERS - SAT. OCT. 18 - 9:00 PM - 4519 SANTA MONICA BLVD, SILVER LAKE - (213) 353-4686 - 21 & OVER - NOMINAL COVER CHARGE AT THE DOOR
Well, when last we checked your heroes were causing all kinds of controversy regarding their "last" show at the Press, being forced to play a "clean" show and so forth, and bitching and moaning about how this intruded on their right, nay their obligation, to stretch their creative juices to the limit, and yadda yadda yadda.
It worked to perfection.
The tension was pretty thick that night at the Press and all parties involved - the venue, the band, the audience - seemed to realize that there was an added significance to this show, even though there wasn't really, no more than any other show. But that added tension, combined with the pressure to perform at a higher level without the crutch of using props, well some people said it was the best Squad show ever!
And since it proved that we can do a show at the Press like that and people will stick around to groove to it, then that there is the "compelling" reason to continue to do shows there, that is if we haven't completely worn out our welcome and if so, I can only say "SORRY!" You try firing people up to come see a show. It's not as easy as you think, not when you're total geezers like the Squad. Besides, those people throwing tortilla chips at us did it on their own, with no encouragement from us.
Now as the Subject header indicates, we are facing the end of the road at another esteemed venue, but this time it's not a PR ploy by the band to get people in the door, it's for real. The Garage has been sold and by about this time next month will no longer be hosting any rock and roll shows of any kind. This really sucks for us because The Garage is really the only place in LA that allows the Squad to come up and litter their stage, and we've played some good shows there, but we'll try to make this one the best. Thanks to Toast for having us and hopefully we will crash land somewhere else in the city.
And we go on at 9:00 sharp, unless we don't!
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE BIG BIG NEWS?
They said it couldn't be done. Actually, what they said was, "You should really be doing this," and the Panda Man would nod his head and go, "Not right now, I'm busy!" But unemployment is a wacky thing and it compels you to tie up loose ends that have been fraying for quite some time, and thus here it is - The Official Desperation Squad Web Site, located at http://www.desperationsquad.com. Yeah it's been in the works for awhile, say about 20 years!
First of all, the Squad would like to thank two people, Andy Whitson and Vic Vinson, who have helped the band out immensely by posting their own D-Squad web sites which wound up being featured on Google web searches. We appreciate their hard work and dedication and will continue to plug their sites, as they will still have pictures and documents not available on the new site.
But we would also like to thank our friend, the former synth player/graphic artist for the Squad, Mark Givens, whose expertise and motivation has played a large part in the construction and maintenence of D-Squad.com. (Also, do yourself a favor and check out http://www.wckrspgt.com. It's the best web site on the internet!)
Now a few hundred words on web sites and ours:
Web sites really are nothing more than marketing tools. Sure, there are some purely artistic sites out there but I doubt web surfers pay too much attention to them. So it goes that the primary reason for Squad putting up this site is to have a permanent location for a D-Squad store so that people can easily purchase their coveted CD's and merch. (So, of course, the store is the one thing that has not opened yet, but you knew that)
However, if there are millions and millions of web sites in cyberspace it is also true that their are millions and millions of crappy web sites, ones that you go to and spend five minutes on and go, "Wow! So what!" This is especially true of band web sites because once you view the gallery and download the MP3's you don't have much left to look at. The silliest part is usually the "News" link, where you find out that some bands last posted news back during the Clinton administration.
But the Squad is a bit different. The Squad has a long, mostly untold history, and enough surviving documents (literally hundreds) that are easily uploaded. Thus the Squad web site's purpose is twofold: to promote the living breathing band, sell merch, post live shows as they are booked (instead of relying on Panda Man sending a late email) and so forth; and to celebrate the history of the band, going all the way back to even before the beginning.
So even as you decide which future gig to attend and which custom-made undershirt you would like to purchase, you can enjoy going back in time to view pictures, marvel at flyers, howl at original lyric sheets, download rare recordings and gawk at hysterical streaming video. And there is more to it than that. For those who have known the Squad for quite a few years, they know that the Squad history intersects with the histories of many other bands and people, a history that, unfortunately, has fallen through the cracks of the powers that be who write such things. In other words the Pomona Valley scene, the Inland Empire scene, whatever you want to call it, has been screwed, as if it almost didn't ever exist. It's a shame because the Squad shared the stage with lots of great bands, and they deserve to be recognized. Ultimately, all of the story, or as much of it as we can grind out, will be told here, through the D-Squad.
In fact, if you have any immediate comments on the subject of band history or a story to tell, go right away to the "Contact" page and fire away (send it to Mr. P).
Obviously, this will take time to build and we will be doing it in increments, so don't expect to go there at this very moment and find out about the night that Watkins' car got trashed on New Years because we were throwing white bread at random houses, and then the bad guys came after us (I was driving). It's all part of the story though, and it will be reported eventually.
What you will find right now are photos and old tickets and flyers, a message board, and a list of upcoming gigs. But rest assured that the D-Squad elves will be constantly updating and constructing new files to enjoy. To that end, in the future you can click on the "What's New" button and see what's been done. (Except there is no "What's New" link yet, but you knew that!)
Thanks, and enjoy!
Well, when last we checked your heroes were causing all kinds of controversy regarding their "last" show at the Press, being forced to play a "clean" show and so forth, and bitching and moaning about how this intruded on their right, nay their obligation, to stretch their creative juices to the limit, and yadda yadda yadda.
It worked to perfection.
The tension was pretty thick that night at the Press and all parties involved - the venue, the band, the audience - seemed to realize that there was an added significance to this show, even though there wasn't really, no more than any other show. But that added tension, combined with the pressure to perform at a higher level without the crutch of using props, well some people said it was the best Squad show ever!
And since it proved that we can do a show at the Press like that and people will stick around to groove to it, then that there is the "compelling" reason to continue to do shows there, that is if we haven't completely worn out our welcome and if so, I can only say "SORRY!" You try firing people up to come see a show. It's not as easy as you think, not when you're total geezers like the Squad. Besides, those people throwing tortilla chips at us did it on their own, with no encouragement from us.
Now as the Subject header indicates, we are facing the end of the road at another esteemed venue, but this time it's not a PR ploy by the band to get people in the door, it's for real. The Garage has been sold and by about this time next month will no longer be hosting any rock and roll shows of any kind. This really sucks for us because The Garage is really the only place in LA that allows the Squad to come up and litter their stage, and we've played some good shows there, but we'll try to make this one the best. Thanks to Toast for having us and hopefully we will crash land somewhere else in the city.
And we go on at 9:00 sharp, unless we don't!
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE BIG BIG NEWS?
They said it couldn't be done. Actually, what they said was, "You should really be doing this," and the Panda Man would nod his head and go, "Not right now, I'm busy!" But unemployment is a wacky thing and it compels you to tie up loose ends that have been fraying for quite some time, and thus here it is - The Official Desperation Squad Web Site, located at http://www.desperationsquad.com. Yeah it's been in the works for awhile, say about 20 years!
First of all, the Squad would like to thank two people, Andy Whitson and Vic Vinson, who have helped the band out immensely by posting their own D-Squad web sites which wound up being featured on Google web searches. We appreciate their hard work and dedication and will continue to plug their sites, as they will still have pictures and documents not available on the new site.
But we would also like to thank our friend, the former synth player/graphic artist for the Squad, Mark Givens, whose expertise and motivation has played a large part in the construction and maintenence of D-Squad.com. (Also, do yourself a favor and check out http://www.wckrspgt.com. It's the best web site on the internet!)
Now a few hundred words on web sites and ours:
Web sites really are nothing more than marketing tools. Sure, there are some purely artistic sites out there but I doubt web surfers pay too much attention to them. So it goes that the primary reason for Squad putting up this site is to have a permanent location for a D-Squad store so that people can easily purchase their coveted CD's and merch. (So, of course, the store is the one thing that has not opened yet, but you knew that)
However, if there are millions and millions of web sites in cyberspace it is also true that their are millions and millions of crappy web sites, ones that you go to and spend five minutes on and go, "Wow! So what!" This is especially true of band web sites because once you view the gallery and download the MP3's you don't have much left to look at. The silliest part is usually the "News" link, where you find out that some bands last posted news back during the Clinton administration.
But the Squad is a bit different. The Squad has a long, mostly untold history, and enough surviving documents (literally hundreds) that are easily uploaded. Thus the Squad web site's purpose is twofold: to promote the living breathing band, sell merch, post live shows as they are booked (instead of relying on Panda Man sending a late email) and so forth; and to celebrate the history of the band, going all the way back to even before the beginning.
So even as you decide which future gig to attend and which custom-made undershirt you would like to purchase, you can enjoy going back in time to view pictures, marvel at flyers, howl at original lyric sheets, download rare recordings and gawk at hysterical streaming video. And there is more to it than that. For those who have known the Squad for quite a few years, they know that the Squad history intersects with the histories of many other bands and people, a history that, unfortunately, has fallen through the cracks of the powers that be who write such things. In other words the Pomona Valley scene, the Inland Empire scene, whatever you want to call it, has been screwed, as if it almost didn't ever exist. It's a shame because the Squad shared the stage with lots of great bands, and they deserve to be recognized. Ultimately, all of the story, or as much of it as we can grind out, will be told here, through the D-Squad.
In fact, if you have any immediate comments on the subject of band history or a story to tell, go right away to the "Contact" page and fire away (send it to Mr. P).
Obviously, this will take time to build and we will be doing it in increments, so don't expect to go there at this very moment and find out about the night that Watkins' car got trashed on New Years because we were throwing white bread at random houses, and then the bad guys came after us (I was driving). It's all part of the story though, and it will be reported eventually.
What you will find right now are photos and old tickets and flyers, a message board, and a list of upcoming gigs. But rest assured that the D-Squad elves will be constantly updating and constructing new files to enjoy. To that end, in the future you can click on the "What's New" button and see what's been done. (Except there is no "What's New" link yet, but you knew that!)
Thanks, and enjoy!
09/30/03
D-SQUAD LAST SHOW EVER (AT THE PRESS)?
DESPERATION SQUAD W/THIRD GRADE TEACHER AT THE PRESS - FRIDAY OCT. 3 - 9:30 PM - 129 HARVARD, CLAREMONT - (909) 625-5808 - NO COVER - ALL AGES (UNDER 21 MUST BE BUYING FOOD OR SOME SUCH THING LIKE THAT)
SHOULDA BEEN THERE
Well, the first of our heralded "fourth Saturday of the month" shows in Pomona was one of the most bizarre Squad shows ever, and I'm not trying to be like a fired-up college football coach here, one who has watched Joe Montana play and yet still says the walk-on QB "is the best prospect I've ever seen." In close to 20 years there has never been a show quite like this one.
The trouble started around 8:00, when I got a phone call from Ian, who was letting me know he had one foot out the door - to go to the airport and take the first plane out of town. It was one of those dreaded family emergency situations that trump all other plans, even those of a rock and roll nature. (Fortunately, in the end, it remained an emergency and not anything worse) Still, two hours before the show, it presented a thorny scenario - the Squad has no back up drummer. By all rights, we could have packed it in right there, said "Can't do it!" But after a couple of quick calls we secured a sub, our buddy Brian B, who was ready to give it the old college try.
This was appropriate, insamuch as we were sharing the bill with the Durty Bombs, the scourge of a new forming trend in performance art - retro cheerleading.
However, there were other problems. 10:00 arrived and there was no 10:00 band anywhere to be found. A band had pulled up in a truck, the guys from She's Dead, who had just come back from a canceled gig in East LA (is there any other kind of gig in that town?), and they were ready to jam at a moments notice. The irony is that the scheduled band, ADHD, was on the same Rosemary's Billygoat show as us and She's Dead, but they didn't show up for that one either. So at least they are consistent.
I was all for She's Dead as a replacement, but Joe Black apparently knew where to find this ADHD - down the block at a bar, getting tanked. He talked them into playing but honestly, they came in with this rock star attitude, driven mostly by alcohol and an empty venue.
(Interlude: It's an old party maxim. Band shows up at party - nobody is there. Band doesn't want to play until people show up. People won't show up until they hear music playing. Solution - band has to suck it in and play, that's why they are there. The people will come.)
So the band very slowly set up and got their shit together and once they started jamming, everything was fine. I mean, I still didn't like their attitude - tiny crowd, sub drummer - hmm, who had a better reason to pack it in? Nonetheless they rocked, the crowd was fired up, what could happen?
Plenty. When the Durty Bombs appeared - two women in cheerleading outfits and one man in a dress and wearing a Hello Kitty mask - at first the crowd was fascinated and aroused. Unfortunately, a man wearing a dress is still threatening to many drunk yahoos, and about half way through the cheer session it got ugly, really ugly. First someone came up and ripped the mask off and then someone threw a bottle and all throughout came a torrent of some of the meanest heckling I've heard in many a year - because of a cheerleading act. (I would like to stress that as far as I know, none of these assholes were there to see the Squad, but there was someone in the middle of it who yelled "D-Squad" so I hope the Bombs didn't get the wrong impression)
"Fag!" "Whore!" "Fuck you!" And that's just the printable stuff. The Ramones getting booed off the stage in San Bernadino when opening for Black Sabbath in 1977 couldn't have been any worse than this. So there's just this bad vibe hanging down in the place now, and people are getting tossed out and so forth and so on. Then it's our turn.
And remember - we're just winging it with a sub drummer that we've never practiced with, playing songs so old we had to dust the cobwebs off them before we started - talk about a hard act to follow. When I saw the three kids who had stuck around all night finally get up and leave after "Reenies A Tease" I knew we had to high tail it into "Rockin In The Free World" by Neil Young and it worked. It bought us enough time to get to the messy songs, our bread and butter, and by the time it was over we still elicted the now standard someone-in-the-audience-thinks-we're-the-greatest-band-ever-comment, Brian B pulled it off (as did Hayes and Bob and Laura, rock solid as usual) and, and, the really hot chick in the front row (I think it was the singer's girlfriend) came up afterward to lick chocolate syrup off the Panda Man - twice!
Just another night at the office. Shoulda been there.
YEAH BUT WHAT IS THIS ABOUT THE PRESS?
Um, yeah, well, this is the deal. The Press Restaurant is one of those places that "gets it" and I mean that. A band comes in there and is always made to feel welcome. The Press always feeds you and gets you drunk and pays you, the staff is friendly, the clientele are mostly drunks, but of a non-threatening variety. Really, it's almost too good to be true.
However . . .
I hate to say "I told you so" (and I mean it this time, because usually I love to say it) but years ago, when approached by the restaurant to play, I had extreme reservations about bringing the Squad there. These reservations were fueled by the fact that the Press is such a class establishment, it is really too good to accomodate the type of band that the Squad was then, and certainly is now. I mean, I had reservations well before we became a tortilla-throwing, syrup-spewing mess of a band. I was just thinking we'd break a wine glass or something and then everyone would get pissed off. I concluded that it wasn't necessarily in our best interest to play at a place that would put restrictions on our act. Period.
But we were compelled to play, and we did all the crazy shit, and they seemed to like it or encourage it or whatever, at least for a little while. Apparently, there have been continual problems concerning the carpet. We "ruined" a section of the carpet a year or so ago, according to them, and they replaced it and we were told under no uncertain terms that if it happened again it would come out of our own pockets. So we fixed that problem - we started to bring a tarp.
Problem solved, right?
Wrong. Apparently, and this is the first I've heard about it, our tortilla throwing - frankly, I never realized that would ever come back to bite us in the butt - precipitated another, more costly replacement of the carpet, although it could be that it's just the normal wear and tear that comes when thousands of people a year are trodding all over your floor. Whatever the reason, I got another warning for this show - leave the tortillas at home.
So there. I told you so! I knew that eventually the Squad charm would wear off, and the hatchet people would be after us. And I'm of the mind that, hey, fuck that shit, just fuck it all to hell. The band does not need to play any place that welcomes us with a threat. I knew this would happen, but when was the last time anyone listened to me?
Yeah but Panda Man, couldn't you just not play the messy songs and go on about business as usual?
Well, yeah, we could. That is if everyone who came to see us had seen us before and were willing to sit through a sort of "B" set of songs, instead of the usual "A" set. I'm sure every band in the world is amenable to that: "Let's see, we have probably the most outrageous show anyone has ever seen, the kind that just drops jaws, but we will be more than willing to set that aside for this venue, even though the folks here who have never seen us will judge us on a set that is not our best material. It's possible they will get the same thrill and rush as if we were playing our "A" set - possible, but not very likely."
So underneath the cynical veneer the Panda Man is throwing down here is a very real dilemma. Another band maxim: you generally don't a second chance to make a great first impression. And, yeah, if I thought that people appreciated subtlety over spectacle I might be willing to come down and do something acoustically, something retro, something different than the same seven songs, as I've hinted we might do at the Vault. But I didn't just fall off the turnip truck here. I can't remember one time at the Press when we've done a subtle song like "Cute College Girl", probably the most beautiful, least cynical and musically sound tune that we do - and not have half the audience march out to the patio, like they do, to smoke, because after all, we are a SPECTACLE band. Who really wants to watch us be songcrafters? Yeah, we used to do stuff like that, but when enough people walked out I realized that you don't keep the best stuff in the closet for a rainy day - you play it every single time, because there is always someone who has never experienced it, and that person deserves the best. It's only fair.
So unless someone can make a compelling case against this line of reasoning and believe me, I'm willing to listen, sadly this will be our last show at the Press, because we simply can't afford to not play our best stuff.
CHOW
SHOULDA BEEN THERE
Well, the first of our heralded "fourth Saturday of the month" shows in Pomona was one of the most bizarre Squad shows ever, and I'm not trying to be like a fired-up college football coach here, one who has watched Joe Montana play and yet still says the walk-on QB "is the best prospect I've ever seen." In close to 20 years there has never been a show quite like this one.
The trouble started around 8:00, when I got a phone call from Ian, who was letting me know he had one foot out the door - to go to the airport and take the first plane out of town. It was one of those dreaded family emergency situations that trump all other plans, even those of a rock and roll nature. (Fortunately, in the end, it remained an emergency and not anything worse) Still, two hours before the show, it presented a thorny scenario - the Squad has no back up drummer. By all rights, we could have packed it in right there, said "Can't do it!" But after a couple of quick calls we secured a sub, our buddy Brian B, who was ready to give it the old college try.
This was appropriate, insamuch as we were sharing the bill with the Durty Bombs, the scourge of a new forming trend in performance art - retro cheerleading.
However, there were other problems. 10:00 arrived and there was no 10:00 band anywhere to be found. A band had pulled up in a truck, the guys from She's Dead, who had just come back from a canceled gig in East LA (is there any other kind of gig in that town?), and they were ready to jam at a moments notice. The irony is that the scheduled band, ADHD, was on the same Rosemary's Billygoat show as us and She's Dead, but they didn't show up for that one either. So at least they are consistent.
I was all for She's Dead as a replacement, but Joe Black apparently knew where to find this ADHD - down the block at a bar, getting tanked. He talked them into playing but honestly, they came in with this rock star attitude, driven mostly by alcohol and an empty venue.
(Interlude: It's an old party maxim. Band shows up at party - nobody is there. Band doesn't want to play until people show up. People won't show up until they hear music playing. Solution - band has to suck it in and play, that's why they are there. The people will come.)
So the band very slowly set up and got their shit together and once they started jamming, everything was fine. I mean, I still didn't like their attitude - tiny crowd, sub drummer - hmm, who had a better reason to pack it in? Nonetheless they rocked, the crowd was fired up, what could happen?
Plenty. When the Durty Bombs appeared - two women in cheerleading outfits and one man in a dress and wearing a Hello Kitty mask - at first the crowd was fascinated and aroused. Unfortunately, a man wearing a dress is still threatening to many drunk yahoos, and about half way through the cheer session it got ugly, really ugly. First someone came up and ripped the mask off and then someone threw a bottle and all throughout came a torrent of some of the meanest heckling I've heard in many a year - because of a cheerleading act. (I would like to stress that as far as I know, none of these assholes were there to see the Squad, but there was someone in the middle of it who yelled "D-Squad" so I hope the Bombs didn't get the wrong impression)
"Fag!" "Whore!" "Fuck you!" And that's just the printable stuff. The Ramones getting booed off the stage in San Bernadino when opening for Black Sabbath in 1977 couldn't have been any worse than this. So there's just this bad vibe hanging down in the place now, and people are getting tossed out and so forth and so on. Then it's our turn.
And remember - we're just winging it with a sub drummer that we've never practiced with, playing songs so old we had to dust the cobwebs off them before we started - talk about a hard act to follow. When I saw the three kids who had stuck around all night finally get up and leave after "Reenies A Tease" I knew we had to high tail it into "Rockin In The Free World" by Neil Young and it worked. It bought us enough time to get to the messy songs, our bread and butter, and by the time it was over we still elicted the now standard someone-in-the-audience-thinks-we're-the-greatest-band-ever-comment, Brian B pulled it off (as did Hayes and Bob and Laura, rock solid as usual) and, and, the really hot chick in the front row (I think it was the singer's girlfriend) came up afterward to lick chocolate syrup off the Panda Man - twice!
Just another night at the office. Shoulda been there.
YEAH BUT WHAT IS THIS ABOUT THE PRESS?
Um, yeah, well, this is the deal. The Press Restaurant is one of those places that "gets it" and I mean that. A band comes in there and is always made to feel welcome. The Press always feeds you and gets you drunk and pays you, the staff is friendly, the clientele are mostly drunks, but of a non-threatening variety. Really, it's almost too good to be true.
However . . .
I hate to say "I told you so" (and I mean it this time, because usually I love to say it) but years ago, when approached by the restaurant to play, I had extreme reservations about bringing the Squad there. These reservations were fueled by the fact that the Press is such a class establishment, it is really too good to accomodate the type of band that the Squad was then, and certainly is now. I mean, I had reservations well before we became a tortilla-throwing, syrup-spewing mess of a band. I was just thinking we'd break a wine glass or something and then everyone would get pissed off. I concluded that it wasn't necessarily in our best interest to play at a place that would put restrictions on our act. Period.
But we were compelled to play, and we did all the crazy shit, and they seemed to like it or encourage it or whatever, at least for a little while. Apparently, there have been continual problems concerning the carpet. We "ruined" a section of the carpet a year or so ago, according to them, and they replaced it and we were told under no uncertain terms that if it happened again it would come out of our own pockets. So we fixed that problem - we started to bring a tarp.
Problem solved, right?
Wrong. Apparently, and this is the first I've heard about it, our tortilla throwing - frankly, I never realized that would ever come back to bite us in the butt - precipitated another, more costly replacement of the carpet, although it could be that it's just the normal wear and tear that comes when thousands of people a year are trodding all over your floor. Whatever the reason, I got another warning for this show - leave the tortillas at home.
So there. I told you so! I knew that eventually the Squad charm would wear off, and the hatchet people would be after us. And I'm of the mind that, hey, fuck that shit, just fuck it all to hell. The band does not need to play any place that welcomes us with a threat. I knew this would happen, but when was the last time anyone listened to me?
Yeah but Panda Man, couldn't you just not play the messy songs and go on about business as usual?
Well, yeah, we could. That is if everyone who came to see us had seen us before and were willing to sit through a sort of "B" set of songs, instead of the usual "A" set. I'm sure every band in the world is amenable to that: "Let's see, we have probably the most outrageous show anyone has ever seen, the kind that just drops jaws, but we will be more than willing to set that aside for this venue, even though the folks here who have never seen us will judge us on a set that is not our best material. It's possible they will get the same thrill and rush as if we were playing our "A" set - possible, but not very likely."
So underneath the cynical veneer the Panda Man is throwing down here is a very real dilemma. Another band maxim: you generally don't a second chance to make a great first impression. And, yeah, if I thought that people appreciated subtlety over spectacle I might be willing to come down and do something acoustically, something retro, something different than the same seven songs, as I've hinted we might do at the Vault. But I didn't just fall off the turnip truck here. I can't remember one time at the Press when we've done a subtle song like "Cute College Girl", probably the most beautiful, least cynical and musically sound tune that we do - and not have half the audience march out to the patio, like they do, to smoke, because after all, we are a SPECTACLE band. Who really wants to watch us be songcrafters? Yeah, we used to do stuff like that, but when enough people walked out I realized that you don't keep the best stuff in the closet for a rainy day - you play it every single time, because there is always someone who has never experienced it, and that person deserves the best. It's only fair.
So unless someone can make a compelling case against this line of reasoning and believe me, I'm willing to listen, sadly this will be our last show at the Press, because we simply can't afford to not play our best stuff.
CHOW
09/25/03
D-SQUAD ANNOUNCES MONTHLY GIG PROGRAM AT 51 BUCKINGHAM
DESPERATION SQUAD W/ ADHD & DURTY BOMBS AT 51 BUCKINGHAM - SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 27 - 301 W. SECOND ST. (SECOND AND MAIN), POMONA - 9:00 PM - $5.00
MAKING IT AS SIMPLE AS IT COULD POSSIBLY BE!
Are you always kicking yourself because you get the email update a day or two late and realize that you've missed another essential D-Squad gig?
Wish the email update came a few days earlier so that you could get it a day or two late and still not miss the gig?
Do you need something like four months notice so that you can make all the necessary arrangements to come to the D-Squad gig without feeling like you have to drop every damn thing you're doing in order to attend?
Here's the solution:
Take a pen, go to your calendar and put an "X" on the fourth Saturday of every month. Those "X"s now represent real honest-to-god D-Squad gigs that will take place at 51 Buckingham in Pomona from now until possibly the end of time.
That's right.
The Squad has aligned forces with the concert venue/art gallery to come every single month - a sort of house band kind of thing - on the exact same date in order to bring you the best in song and entertainment on a semi-regular basis! Naturally, the Squad will also be booking other gigs in other locations, hopefully putting together a ledger that provides you with many options to get your Panda fix any time you need it. But the fourth Saturday will be etched in stone until, well, it is no longer, about the time when the band breaks through mainstream boundaries and become the "Greatest Rock Band of All Time" in more than just their own minds. For the remainder of this year 2003 those dates will be:
October 25
November 22
December 27 (likely the Squad's 39th annual X-mas Show)
In addition, the band realizes this could be a perfect set up to do more than just the same seven songs over and over again (although there's nothing wrong with that) and perform an eclectic mix of newer songs and long-forgotten classics. In 2004, the band will be embarking on their "Celebrating 20 Years of Going Nowhere" tour - a fete that will embrace the band's long, troubling and bizarre journey through the worst dumps imaginable, only to find themselves still covered in the grimy yet satisfying urine-soaked trash bags of modern rock and roll.
It doesn't get any better than that!
So mark down the dates, scribble down the address, come once, come often and realize that after you pay for nine Squad gigs at the Buckingham, you will get the 10th for free!
CHOW!
MAKING IT AS SIMPLE AS IT COULD POSSIBLY BE!
Are you always kicking yourself because you get the email update a day or two late and realize that you've missed another essential D-Squad gig?
Wish the email update came a few days earlier so that you could get it a day or two late and still not miss the gig?
Do you need something like four months notice so that you can make all the necessary arrangements to come to the D-Squad gig without feeling like you have to drop every damn thing you're doing in order to attend?
Here's the solution:
Take a pen, go to your calendar and put an "X" on the fourth Saturday of every month. Those "X"s now represent real honest-to-god D-Squad gigs that will take place at 51 Buckingham in Pomona from now until possibly the end of time.
That's right.
The Squad has aligned forces with the concert venue/art gallery to come every single month - a sort of house band kind of thing - on the exact same date in order to bring you the best in song and entertainment on a semi-regular basis! Naturally, the Squad will also be booking other gigs in other locations, hopefully putting together a ledger that provides you with many options to get your Panda fix any time you need it. But the fourth Saturday will be etched in stone until, well, it is no longer, about the time when the band breaks through mainstream boundaries and become the "Greatest Rock Band of All Time" in more than just their own minds. For the remainder of this year 2003 those dates will be:
October 25
November 22
December 27 (likely the Squad's 39th annual X-mas Show)
In addition, the band realizes this could be a perfect set up to do more than just the same seven songs over and over again (although there's nothing wrong with that) and perform an eclectic mix of newer songs and long-forgotten classics. In 2004, the band will be embarking on their "Celebrating 20 Years of Going Nowhere" tour - a fete that will embrace the band's long, troubling and bizarre journey through the worst dumps imaginable, only to find themselves still covered in the grimy yet satisfying urine-soaked trash bags of modern rock and roll.
It doesn't get any better than that!
So mark down the dates, scribble down the address, come once, come often and realize that after you pay for nine Squad gigs at the Buckingham, you will get the 10th for free!
CHOW!
08/27/03
D-SQUAD TO PLAY JOE BLACK'S BIRTHDAY PARTY
A ROCK AND ROLL CIVICS LESSON
DESPERATION SQUAD AT 51 BUCKINGHAM W/A BUNCH OF OTHER BANDS - SATURDAY, AUGUST 30 - 9:00 PM - 301 W. SECOND ST, POMONA - (909) 629-3665 - $5 COVER - 21 & OVER
Did I leave anything out? I mean besides the other bands that are playing this show with us? That's because the (51) website is down and I don't have a car which means I haven't been able to get posters or flyers or nuthin' like dat dere, but I promise you there are at least three other bands playing including Kenyon from Rhino Records' band and Nathan from Rhino Records who will be DJ-ing inbetween sets.
What did I leave out? Oh, yes - the exact moment and time that we, D-Squad, the so-called greatest rock band of all time, take the stage and make loud electric noises that resemble rock and roll. The answer is -I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!
Satisfied?
Look folks, this is happening more and more lately and you just have to deal with it. When I send an invitation for a gig out, the time I select is generally the time the doors open at the venue. The idea is to get people to come out, not just to see us, but to see other bands that we are playing with. Chances are they might be darn good themselves. Is there a problem with that? Believe it or not, back in the good old days, that's what people did, they came out early and stayed all night. It was called, this is a really old term and saying it makes me feel like a square but here goes, it was called a "scene". "Scenes" are things that develop when a place is "happening". Not just one night, but many nights, week after week, month after month, and they develop when consumers realize that a certain venue is always a great place to go, no matter who is playing. It's called "faith".
Oh, yeah, sure, duh Mr. P, we knew that, what is this, kindergarten or something? Shall we all take naps now on our folding mats?
Well, sorry to be so pedantic (look it up, fool), but frankly I'm a bit sick when we play gigs and the first thing out of someone's mouth is "I thought you were playing early!" or "I thought you were playing late!" or "When is this band going to be done? When are you going to play?"
The truth is - you never know. Last week we played first, and fooled a bunch of folks who assumed we were going to play last, even though the info I sent them said the show started at 9:30 (we went on at about 10:15). It was a great night of music, with the Groovy Rednecks.
This week, as far as I know, we play last, which is almost a freakin' death sentence. The last time we played last was at the Liquid Den and, since most people had never heard of us, less than 10 people stuck around to watch us. Can you say "demoralizing"? Even then we still had someone tell us we were the greatest band they had ever seen (tip o the hat to D-Cup). Why not? Even if it is an unquestionable tank gig, you still give your all, am I right?
My point is, there is too much polarization in rock and roll today. One band brings their threadbare following, play, leave - the next band, same thing - and never, apparently does the twain meet. Bands that play together are more and more like neighbors that you never meet even if they live next door to you because "who has the time?"
I'm getting clocked by people who tell me that I don't know what I'm talking about, that rock and roll is not the UPN of popular music, that there are more great rock bands out there than I could possibly know, but judging from gigs that we have played, who ever takes the time to find out? Even at successful venues, like the Glass House, I always see mounds of kids outside waiting, from the looks of it, for their band to go on, like going in and seeing an opening band is "uncool" somehow.
So we're playing at 51 Buckingham again, it's Joe's birthday, and the last time we played there I accidently smacked the bar lady with a tortilla and she said she was going to "cut my fingers off." So you can bet I'm really fired up to return. But it looks to be a really good show, which we apparently "headlining" (because no one wants to play after us, I guess). But if you come, just pencil in the whole night, okay? Don't rush up to me in the anxiety-riddled moments before we play and bitch at me about set time. I will be there early and stay there late, and probably need to get a ride home later, and the whole goddamn time I'm going to be looking over my shoulder to make sure some psychotic beer-server doesn't have a meat cleaver in her hands, ready to chop me up.
Jason vs. Freddy indeed.
God bless you Wesley Willis, R.I.P.
DESPERATION SQUAD AT 51 BUCKINGHAM W/A BUNCH OF OTHER BANDS - SATURDAY, AUGUST 30 - 9:00 PM - 301 W. SECOND ST, POMONA - (909) 629-3665 - $5 COVER - 21 & OVER
Did I leave anything out? I mean besides the other bands that are playing this show with us? That's because the (51) website is down and I don't have a car which means I haven't been able to get posters or flyers or nuthin' like dat dere, but I promise you there are at least three other bands playing including Kenyon from Rhino Records' band and Nathan from Rhino Records who will be DJ-ing inbetween sets.
What did I leave out? Oh, yes - the exact moment and time that we, D-Squad, the so-called greatest rock band of all time, take the stage and make loud electric noises that resemble rock and roll. The answer is -I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!
Satisfied?
Look folks, this is happening more and more lately and you just have to deal with it. When I send an invitation for a gig out, the time I select is generally the time the doors open at the venue. The idea is to get people to come out, not just to see us, but to see other bands that we are playing with. Chances are they might be darn good themselves. Is there a problem with that? Believe it or not, back in the good old days, that's what people did, they came out early and stayed all night. It was called, this is a really old term and saying it makes me feel like a square but here goes, it was called a "scene". "Scenes" are things that develop when a place is "happening". Not just one night, but many nights, week after week, month after month, and they develop when consumers realize that a certain venue is always a great place to go, no matter who is playing. It's called "faith".
Oh, yeah, sure, duh Mr. P, we knew that, what is this, kindergarten or something? Shall we all take naps now on our folding mats?
Well, sorry to be so pedantic (look it up, fool), but frankly I'm a bit sick when we play gigs and the first thing out of someone's mouth is "I thought you were playing early!" or "I thought you were playing late!" or "When is this band going to be done? When are you going to play?"
The truth is - you never know. Last week we played first, and fooled a bunch of folks who assumed we were going to play last, even though the info I sent them said the show started at 9:30 (we went on at about 10:15). It was a great night of music, with the Groovy Rednecks.
This week, as far as I know, we play last, which is almost a freakin' death sentence. The last time we played last was at the Liquid Den and, since most people had never heard of us, less than 10 people stuck around to watch us. Can you say "demoralizing"? Even then we still had someone tell us we were the greatest band they had ever seen (tip o the hat to D-Cup). Why not? Even if it is an unquestionable tank gig, you still give your all, am I right?
My point is, there is too much polarization in rock and roll today. One band brings their threadbare following, play, leave - the next band, same thing - and never, apparently does the twain meet. Bands that play together are more and more like neighbors that you never meet even if they live next door to you because "who has the time?"
I'm getting clocked by people who tell me that I don't know what I'm talking about, that rock and roll is not the UPN of popular music, that there are more great rock bands out there than I could possibly know, but judging from gigs that we have played, who ever takes the time to find out? Even at successful venues, like the Glass House, I always see mounds of kids outside waiting, from the looks of it, for their band to go on, like going in and seeing an opening band is "uncool" somehow.
So we're playing at 51 Buckingham again, it's Joe's birthday, and the last time we played there I accidently smacked the bar lady with a tortilla and she said she was going to "cut my fingers off." So you can bet I'm really fired up to return. But it looks to be a really good show, which we apparently "headlining" (because no one wants to play after us, I guess). But if you come, just pencil in the whole night, okay? Don't rush up to me in the anxiety-riddled moments before we play and bitch at me about set time. I will be there early and stay there late, and probably need to get a ride home later, and the whole goddamn time I'm going to be looking over my shoulder to make sure some psychotic beer-server doesn't have a meat cleaver in her hands, ready to chop me up.
Jason vs. Freddy indeed.
God bless you Wesley Willis, R.I.P.
08/20/03
D-SQUAD LAST DANCE AT THE OLD TOWN PUB
DESPERATION SQUAD AT THE OLD TOWN PUB W/ THE GROOVEY REDNECKS - FRIDAY, AUGUST 22 - 9:30 PM - 66 FAIR OAKS, PASADENA - (626) 577-6583 - 21 & OVER - $5 COVER
I've been working at the Pasadena Weekly off and on now for the last several months, which means on certain selected "special" mornings I get to hop on the 690 Express Bus. It's a real kick believe me, in fact, in these days of $2 a gallon gas it's a damn top shelf bargain (of course, I don't own a car anyway so those prices mean very little to me).
Anyhow, the bus drops me off a block or two from our buddies at the Old Town Pub and about a month or so ago I'm cruising down the street, on my way to see the mysterious and sensual server girl at the Equator with the cropped blond do, when I chance upon a most unusual and unprecedented sight.
They're tearing up the parking lot next to the Old Town Pub.
I'm not the only one there. Standing beside me is blues singer, local icon and Old Town mainstay Red, and just one glance at him - he had this doleful look on his face, like his intuition was telling him something was wrong, really wrong - and I realized that this was about the worst thing to happen in the whole billion year existence of Old Town/Loch Ness, whatever the hell you want to call it, tearing up the parking lot was bad, bad, bad news for everyone involved, save Art the former owner, who looks like a genius for selling out a step ahead of the wrecking ball.
Well, okay, it's only the parking lot, and maybe the only ones who have lost their jobs are the surly attendants or the hot dog guy, but something tells me they've been able to relocate. Old Town has to stay right where it is, and if you thought it was near impossible to find tucked in behind a parking lot, just wait till you have to wend your way through the alleyway next to Tortas Mexico and back behind Billy's Dugout and some place called the North Forty, just to arrive at your preferred destination to drink.
Needless to say, this is going to put a damper on the business. At first, it seemed that this would only be a temporary glitch. The word on the street (well, I heard it inside an office building) was that they were putting up a new building and I immediately thought that perhaps this would be an example of the Joni Mitchell song "Big Yellow Taxi" in reverse - that they would tear out a parking lot and put in a shop called Paradise - but no, I think this is it, I think the Old Town may have mopped up its last puddle of puke.
And after all that work upgrading the bathrooms.
Well, even the Panda Man gets a little sentimental, and if a place is going to go down it may as well go down "Rocking" as we say, so please join us if you will as we team up with our buddies the Groovy Rednecks for a night of drunken revelry. For all we know this may be the last time we play the Old Town and if it turns out that this is just a bogus Venue-style "Orange" alert, please excuse us. Maybe it takes a false alarm to get the old fires burning again.
Besides, we're debuting our newest hit, "Welcome to the Drunkfest"! It's a killer!
Bone appetit!
I've been working at the Pasadena Weekly off and on now for the last several months, which means on certain selected "special" mornings I get to hop on the 690 Express Bus. It's a real kick believe me, in fact, in these days of $2 a gallon gas it's a damn top shelf bargain (of course, I don't own a car anyway so those prices mean very little to me).
Anyhow, the bus drops me off a block or two from our buddies at the Old Town Pub and about a month or so ago I'm cruising down the street, on my way to see the mysterious and sensual server girl at the Equator with the cropped blond do, when I chance upon a most unusual and unprecedented sight.
They're tearing up the parking lot next to the Old Town Pub.
I'm not the only one there. Standing beside me is blues singer, local icon and Old Town mainstay Red, and just one glance at him - he had this doleful look on his face, like his intuition was telling him something was wrong, really wrong - and I realized that this was about the worst thing to happen in the whole billion year existence of Old Town/Loch Ness, whatever the hell you want to call it, tearing up the parking lot was bad, bad, bad news for everyone involved, save Art the former owner, who looks like a genius for selling out a step ahead of the wrecking ball.
Well, okay, it's only the parking lot, and maybe the only ones who have lost their jobs are the surly attendants or the hot dog guy, but something tells me they've been able to relocate. Old Town has to stay right where it is, and if you thought it was near impossible to find tucked in behind a parking lot, just wait till you have to wend your way through the alleyway next to Tortas Mexico and back behind Billy's Dugout and some place called the North Forty, just to arrive at your preferred destination to drink.
Needless to say, this is going to put a damper on the business. At first, it seemed that this would only be a temporary glitch. The word on the street (well, I heard it inside an office building) was that they were putting up a new building and I immediately thought that perhaps this would be an example of the Joni Mitchell song "Big Yellow Taxi" in reverse - that they would tear out a parking lot and put in a shop called Paradise - but no, I think this is it, I think the Old Town may have mopped up its last puddle of puke.
And after all that work upgrading the bathrooms.
Well, even the Panda Man gets a little sentimental, and if a place is going to go down it may as well go down "Rocking" as we say, so please join us if you will as we team up with our buddies the Groovy Rednecks for a night of drunken revelry. For all we know this may be the last time we play the Old Town and if it turns out that this is just a bogus Venue-style "Orange" alert, please excuse us. Maybe it takes a false alarm to get the old fires burning again.
Besides, we're debuting our newest hit, "Welcome to the Drunkfest"! It's a killer!
Bone appetit!